Cheesey Thief

A Story of a Mousey Villain

 

            Bert Holliday was born in London’s East End in 1891. His upbringing seems to have been unremarkable. He was just an ordinary child of the time, from a lowly background. This was to change as he aged however. He eventually became known as the “Gentleman Cracksman”, and “Johnny the Gent”. Where the name “Johnny” came from is not clear. His nicknames did reflect his character however.  From his humble beginnings, Holliday was to become one of the most successful jewel thieves in the country.

During the late nineteenth and early twentieth century, detective and mystery fiction was dominated by Mr Sherlock Holmes. One author (E.W. Hornung), who happened to be related to Conan Doyle through marriage, took the famous detective and turned him firmly on his head. The resulting character was one A.J. Raffles, the gentleman thief; eternal houseguest and rubber of high-class shoulders. He mixed effortlessly with the upper echelons, and could banter with the best of them. The first of Raffles’ adventures, "The Ides of March", appeared in the June 1898 edition of Cassell’s Magazine, and went on to be not quite as popular as Holmes, but did come in an admirable second place.

            One can't help but wonder if Holliday modelled himself upon the fictional gentleman thief. With his success, came all the trappings of an upper-class lifestyle. He lived in a house named “Jour de Fete”, on the river Thames. Obviously an educated man, with an eye for humour and wit, or some may say pretentions and vanity; Bert had named his house after himself. “Jour de Fete” translates from French as “holiday”. He also liked to mix in high-class company, and would frequently ride with the hunt. His other passion in life was fishing; a pastime that he indulged in as frequently as his busy schedule would allow. It gave him some time to himself, in peaceful surroundings, and a break from the adrenaline rush of his larceny.

            He did occasionally use an accomplice in his escapades. “Poofy” Len Oades would accompany Holliday on some of his forays. Generally, though he preferred to work alone, and was not afraid to prepare himself for violence. It is rumoured that he carried a gun with him at all times.

            Bert Holliday was such a successful and notorious, not to mention widely travelled, thief, that he was sort after be five police forces from five different counties. They were very keen to prosecute Holliday, but he successfully evaded them for several years. His undoing was to be somewhat absurd and an anticlimax to the high-living, gentleman thief.

            It was the theft of a cheese from The Dumbell Inn in Taplow, Buckinghamshire in 1949, that was to prove his undoing. Why he stole a cheese, when he could so easily have bought one, has gone to the grave with him. Perhaps it was because he was so used to taking whatever he wanted, without paying, or could it have been his keen eye for wit and humour? To “cheese it” was slang, in the world of thieves, for “scarpering”, or “making oneself scarce”. Unfortunately for Bert, on this occasion he did not “scarper” quickly enough, and was captured by the police.

 

            They had caught up with him at last, and were not about to let him go easily. His bail was set at the huge sum of £2000. It is a testament to his prior successes and his wealth, that Holliday was able to afford the payment of his bail. When he was released, he promptly disappeared, and his whereabouts were to be unknown for four years. He eventually headed for Virginia Water, a large man-made lake in Surrey, which occupies the south-eastern corner of Windsor Great Park. In a hotel by the lake in 1953, Bert Holliday used a gun, disguised as a walking stick to shoot himself. The farewell note was short and un-dramatic; merely bemoaning the fact that he would be unable to go fishing that day.